I read a report today on a website (www.livescience.com) that I found interesting.

It’s entitled, “10 things women need to know about a Man’s brain.”

Up front, I found the use of a singular funny. What they should know about “A Man’s Brain.” As if there was really ONE Man with ONE Brain.
We know from our expensive and racial profiling Census that it takes an average of Four Men to create Two functioning Brains.

10- More Emotional– Men respond as emotionally as women up to the point where they are aware of the emotion. Then our cultural training kicks in and we suppress the unmanliness of emotion. We want to cry at the movie but can’t cause you’ll think we’re wusses.

9- More Lonely– We are more vulnerable to loneliness and depression than women.

8- Solution Focused Empathy- We are as empathetic (chemically) as women. The empathy is expressed as trying to solve the problem, not trying to join in the suffering. We want to stop your problems once we hear about them. That means we are listening and we do care.

7- Hard wired to notice women Yeah, unpopular reality but still a reality. High levels of testosterone impact our ability to control our impulses. Particularly among men below the age of 30 or so. It is believed to be a function of efficient procreation for the male of a species to notice/have lots of female partners. One man can father thousands of kids in his lifetime while a woman can give birth to a lower number. NOT saying it is morally/culturally/socially right, just that it IS what it IS. Studies also show a Man can not recall any details about a woman he glances at about 3 minutes later.
We have as many eyes as a fly and the memory of a gnat.

6- Territorial– Go ahead, take the remote, take a beer without asking, or hit on the women in our lives.
Go ahead.

5- Prefer Defined Hierarchy– Unstable hierarchies piss us off. Thus the attraction, in part, to the military lifestyle or corporate structures. Knowing who the Alpha Dog is, even when it’s not us, helps to curb our aggression and enforce cooperation. But show too much weakness (see #10) and we will dominate you if we can. (see # 6)

4- Less Competitive as we get older– Our piss and vinegar fades as we get older. Our testosterone decreases, which increases impulse control, and allows us to become more cooperative. That may be why most Male volunteers are above the age of 30. Our sense of community expands as we get older because of these chemical changes.

3- Prepared for Fatherhood- When we spend a lot of time around pregnant women, not necessarily our wives/girlfriends, our testosterone lowers and our prolactin increases. Prolactin is a chemical produced during pregnancy that makes breast milk production possible, basically. In men it reduces the level of testosterone. This would seem to increase the man’s impulse control, cut his uncontrolled sex drive and prepare him for fatherhood.

2- Man Play– We play different with kids. More spontaneous, rougher and with more teasing. Some studies show this helps the child become ready for the spontaneous, rough, and sometimes humiliating adult world. I don’t know why in it’s a list about the brain’s chemical reactions.

1- We prefer marriage as we get older- Most men who cheat on their wives/girlfriends do so before the age of 30. As the testosterone decreases the man becomes more likely to enjoy marriage. That sounds really screwed up. Seriously.

It sounds as if once we’re done fighting over the remote, looking at women, nailing every woman we see, figuring out our Alpha Dog status, and making money we want our wives to be there so we can cry at the movies, make fun of our 214 kids, and join the Fire Department. It is truly a wonder every woman isn’t a Lesbian or an Alcoholic.

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Duke’s Mayonnaise advertises that it “tastes like Homemade”.
Who the hell makes homemade mayonnaise?

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I was going to turn over a new leaf until someone cut off my limbs.

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We always hear about how “Future Generations” are going to view us badly. Seriously? How many of us sit around and think, “Boy howdy we’d have it made if not for those stupid people in the 1820s!”
Everytime I see some pseudo-intellectual say that claptrap about “Future Generations” I laugh then tune them out.
Get over you adolescent ego centrism.
Future generations won’t think about you at all.
Deal with it.

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Getting older means you’re closer to living forever.

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