Warning: No Alcohol was destroyed in the construction of this message.

(The fact it took fifteen minutes, three midgets and six “spell checks” to type the above message is proof that, in fact, the above message is horse shit.)

I was outside a hospital the other day. I saw an overweight woman wearing a purple Relay for Life shirt with the word “Survivor” written across the back. I wondered, “Why is she smoking?” Life Inquiry#1: What does it take for some people to learn?

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Red Hammer’s coming like a fat guy watching porn. You’re welcome for the visual.

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For many years I wondered what my literary voice sounded like. Was it literary, funny, whimsical, deep, haughty, useless. Tonight I realized what it sounded like. My voice sounds like a beer can opening on a Friday night. Sometimes sad, sometimes relieving, but always understandable.

I think the purpose of writing is to remind the reader they are not alone, and to let the writer know they are not nuts.

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The Dept of Education is exploring disallowing Federal Student Loans for students of private colleges. The purpose would be to avoid private colleges from gouging students and making an obscene profit. Sounds stupid. Last year the Federal Govt decided they should be the only ones allowed to make student loans. This year they want to decide where a student may go to college to be eligible for student loans.
Once they’ve locked in where you allowed to go to school, how much longer before they decide what you can study? IF the goal is to make sure the student doesn’t have loans in excess of income generated from the degree, then why would they NOT make sure your degree will pay the loans? Good bye Art History, Literature, Creative Writing, Women’s Studies, Gender Issues and Lesbian Lit classes/majors. According to the government, if you MAY not be able to pay your loans based off your future income, you shouldn’t be allowed to have the loan at all.
Wow, supposedly open-minded, intelligent people voted for this horse shit. I guess they are too busy bitching at BP to pay attention to Governmental intrusion? Considering a good portion of private colleges cater to African-Americans could we deduce that the Obama Administration is Racist? Too soon?

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Speaking of the oil bastards. Hate to bust your bubble. You can boycott your local BP and still end up buying BP gas. Gas is a commodity product, like milk, water, sugar, salt etc. When you stop by your local CITGO store you may be buying BP refined gas. And vice versa. That is why every single “boycott” of a Gas company is met with complete apathy by corporate fuckers. They know better. So should you. Think of it this way…Do you really think “Great Value” actually makes all the products Wal-Mart sells? Um, no. The same company that makes “Coco Puffs” makes “GV Coco Roos”. Get over it, your boycott doesn’t pass the laugh test.

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I’ll be on Marketplace (NPR program) soon discussing the Dept of Education’s ideas for your children’s education. Details forthcoming.

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Forthcoming makes no sense. Does anyone every say “Aftcoming”? As in “Coming after”. Um, drink up.
Any event “coming” is also “forthcoming”. Stupid Webster’s Dictionary.

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I told my wife I would “blog” tonight. She said, “Not while you’re drinking. You’re writing sucks while you drink.”
I said, “No, my fiction (beer can opening) sucks when I drink. Writing about me fucking rocks while I’m drunk.”
She laughed.
I blogged.

You decide.

608- out

John.

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